No matter what they say

The two five-year-olds, members of our host family on a recent visit to Winston, pressed up close to Cleo, looking at her as she put her dress on. 'What is that?' they asked, pointing to a freckle just above her thigh. 'It's a freckle,' explained Cleo. 'It's really big,' said one of them. 'It's too big to be a freckle. It looks like someone spilled chocolate on you.' And Cleo, insistent but slightly aggrieved: 'It's a freckle.'

Slowly but surely, Cleo's entering that arena - that seemingly vast arena - in which attention is trained upon appearance. Differences are noted and dissected; opinions are offered freely. Sometimes, happily, the process is relatively gentle; on that morning, for instance, Cleo's two friends seemed satisfied with her response, and the three of them were soon fast playmates again, and went about efficiently erecting a fort in the living room. Inevitably, though, there will be more complicated moments.

As the kids slept, the four parents watched an episode of American Ninja Warrior, and traded casual conversation about t.v. shows. The Voice came up, and I asked if there were any talent show hosts whom our friends enjoyed watching. They each paused for a moment, looked at each other, and then nodded: Shakira, they said, referring to the Colombian singer who regularly appears as a voice coach. She's intelligent, they explained (and, sure enough, The Huffington Post recently reported that she has an IQ of 140). She can be funny, they added. And, then one of them, playfully: and she's hot as hell.

Fair enough. But even Shakira, it turns out, has had her doubts. As the Examiner noted, in 2010, the Grammy-winning singer has consistently seen a therapist for up to an hour daily in an effort to boost her low self-esteem. "I've become so much more comfortable with who I am and the body God has given me," she said. "In their 20s, women try to be somebody they're not and try to turn themselves into something different. Now in my 30s, I'm very happy with who I am."

20s; 30s. What about, I wonder, when they're 4? So far, Cleo seems to be doing fine. And yet, in thinking about all of this, I'm reminded of a song by another Latina artist: that'd be Christina Aguilera's 'Beautiful.' So, Cleo, I hope that you can draw, when you need to, on some of the resilience embedded in her lyrics:

I am beautiful, no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down

It may look, to some, as though a drop of chocolate has marred your skin. But I've always loved that freckle, and hope you do, too.