Official timeout

Sometimes, perhaps, being a thoughtful dad doesn't have to imply active, hands-on fatherhood. Playing a rubber match of Candy Land is certainly one way of parenting (and a vitally important one, of late); so, too, is sleepily wandering downstairs with your surreally alert daughter at 6:01, to warm up the morning milk. But we're fathers, as well, when we read about other parenting choices, or ask around for appropriate movies. Or, as on Thursday night, when I drove up to Towson to watch Elena Delle Donne, the pre-season All-American and current national player of the week, lead Delaware against the local Tigers.

Delle Donne's fun to watch: she's a point guard in a center's body, and her combination of athletic grace, court intelligence, and simple professionalism appealed to me when I first saw her last year, in a postseason game to which I brought Cleo. Shooting 92% from the line is no small thing, either. But there's something else, something bigger, here at work - and it's something that appeals to the father, rather than the sports fan, in me. Her older sister, named Lizzie, has cerebral palsy, and is both blind and deaf. Their bond, apparently, is quite strong; in fact, when Delle Donne left her native Delaware to play hoops at UConn, she soon found herself feeling too far from her sister. And transferred, shortly thereafter, to Delaware, to become an unlikely star on an unheralded program. That program now boasts a top 20 team, due almost entirely to Delle Done's efforts. But, perhaps even more importantly, she's consistently present in her sister's, and her parents', life again.

While I watched her team glide to an easy victory over Towson, Cleo was at home, reading books with L. and then falling asleep. But my brief absence only fostered a further conviction that presence, that closeness, is worth something. Sure, we dads may not always be at home, among the toys or bedside. But that doesn't mean that we're not learning something, nonetheless, about our daughters and our roles.