Freak injuries

At night we place Cleo on her back, as all parents are now told to do, in the hopes of preventing the little-understood SIDS. There are no toys near her, to reduce any risk of strangulation or suffocation. The muslin cloth that lies over her tiny legs was chosen after we'd read books that advised against heavier cloths, which don't breathe, and can therefore be dangerous. And, just for good measure's sake, there's a baby monitor on a table near her, so that we can respond if anything happens.

It sounds like overkill, and yet I don't think we're at all exceptional: babies are especially prone to accidents, and these are simply standard ways of preventing harm. Still, sometimes it seems like we're spending so much time babyproofing that we forget to save ourselves. All around Cleo, the world injures itself in ridiculous ways, making a muslin sheet seem all too simple an answer.

For example: last fall, Minnesota Timberwolves center Jason Collins injured himself in a "freak golf-cart accident," rupturing his triceps tendon and thus missing training camp and the team's opening game. As embarrassing as that may have been, though, Collins' mishap is considerably more romantic than the rather serious injuries sustained by baseball players such as Sammy Sosa (who injured his back while sneezing) or Wade Boggs (also a bad back, caused by taking off cowboy boots). Glenallen Hill may win the prize for Oddest Injury to an Athlete, though; in 1990, while suffering from a nightmare about spiders, the Toronto Blue Jay crawled, while still asleep, up his apartment stairs, bloodying his knees and elbows on the carpet.

Hill, apparently, only dreamt of spiders the once, but odd injuries can result from repetition, as well. Tennis elbow is a classic example; so is carpal tunnel syndrome. And violinists know that playing for several hours daily can cause serious pain in the left elbow; in fact, that's why David Rivinus recently introduced the Pellegrina viola, designed to alleviate such pain through a novel change in the elbow's angle.

Which is what I've been experimenting with recently, as well, in a slightly different context. As Cleo's largely outgrown her interest in the stroller, we usually now walk her in a sling or Baby Bjorn. It's easier in many ways, but she's still small enough that it helps to hold a hand firmly on the outside, to support her back or belly. Walk her enough, without really thinking about it, and you've suddenly been applying a soft pressure with your right elbow for hours and hours, over the course of a week. All of which is a long way of saying that I woke up the other morning with some rather serious tendinitis. The result of a recent tennis match? No - like most new dads, I haven't exactly been prancing around the courts. Maybe it came from trowelling in the garden? No - since laying the garden in in May, we've done little but pick tomatoes, watch the squash flowers come and go, and root for the solitary pumpkin. I'm afraid there's no alternative but to say it: I hurt myself while walking my baby.

Oh, but even there I've got good company. Major leaguer Paul Shuey once fell asleep while holding his baby, and woke up with a knot in his shoulder that temporarily prevented him from playing. And Ruben Sierra once hurt himself while chasing his daughter on a mall escalator.

We try to make the world safe for our kids. But who makes it safe for us?